This article is guest posted by Norma R, which does not stand our points on this topic, have fun to read.
15 bad reasons not to be feminist
Feminism is for everyone, it serves everyone and promised, it’s not a secret organization that burns men on full moon nights.
Because sometimes you get the impression that all pretexts are good… here are 15 reasons you often hear when someone claims not to be a feminist.
“I don’t agree with feminists.”
Unless you’re against women’s rights, it’s going to be complicated to disagree with feminists, just because their positions are incredibly varied. If you think men are from Mars, you are an essentialist feminist (you think there is a male or female “essence”). If you believe we are human first, you’re anti-essentialist. If you think we learn to behave more like women, you’re a constructionist.
And the list doesn’t end there (but the Wikipedia pages will give you a complete schema). Some feminists are for porn or prostitution; others are against it; some support women are returning home, others encourage pro super careers – most are for all lifestyles, provided they result from an informed choice…
“I don’t like words in -ism.”
Words in -ism are often concepts. Concepts are what we use to create meaning and intelligent speech. If you don’t like words in -ism (eroticism?), then your problem is not with feminism but with intellectual laziness.
I’m saying that I’m not saying anything.
“Feminists deal with bad fights.”
Anti-feminists often cite the Chiennes de Garde as an example of French feminism. Except that the Watchdogs are media… because their sphere of action is precisely the media!
Outside this loop of hell (feminists talk about the media. Therefore the media react by talking about these feminists), associations attack rape, violence, suburbs, equal pay, freedom to abort, etc.
The big issues are not forgotten, it’s just that the media don’t talk about them or only on March 8th. Then, bad fight, it remains to define. Symbolically, the feminization of titles would be a huge step forward.
Sure, it doesn’t give you something to eat right away at the end of the month, but it might help little girls imagine themselves surgeons rather than midwives… When you prioritize struggles, you’re not acting.
“Feminists always say the same thing.”
Well, they’d be happy to stop, but since the situation doesn’t change… neither do the speeches.
“I want to stay home, have kids and have a man who makes money from home.”
Wonderful. None of this prevents you from being a feminist and wanting a better life for women in general, just as nobody puts a gun to your head to use all your rights (I don’t feel obligated by contract to abort). Plus, even with a retro lifestyle, you probably want it to be illegal to get hit.
“I think we’re already too far along inequality.”
No, seriously? Wage gaps, violence, sexist education, political representation, the glass ceiling, that doesn’t speak to you?
Well, that’s too bad. In any case, we cannot go too far inequality. You can’t be a little equal, half equal, or too equal: either you are, or you aren’t (and right now you’re not).
It should be noted that feminist opponents often complain about this equality story, which would condemn us to be “all the same.” Except that…
Equality is not identity (we can be equal without being identical. Otherwise the first article of the Constitution would oblige us to clone ourselves)
There is feminism that defends this: essentialist feminism… which happens to be rather well represented in France!
“Feminists only care about women.”
With generally the following remark: “in feminism, there is a woman.” And in humanism there is human, yet that does not mean that we hate animals or trees. So let us reassure ourselves: mixed feminist associations, there are a lot of them, so we can meet men, come with our brother, our boyfriend, our cousin…
Feminism (at least, some feminisms) defends fathers’ rights, supports non-hero men, encourages paternity leave and looks for ways to create modern masculinity. It is not easy. Feminism needs more men willing to ask these questions.
“Because of feminism, there are no real guys anymore.”
Feminism has revived the maps of gender relations, that’s for sure. Men are reinventing manhood, and if some choose beauty products and strollers, even though society shouts at them to remain stoic and powerful, it’s probably… they want it very much!
Today, men earn the right to be men the way they like.
It is not up to us to judge them when they are just beginning to emancipate themselves. When you talk, I don’t think it was that funky.
“Feminists are revengeful.”
No. I don’t. Revancharde would mean that they would demand more rights for women than for men, which is a total aberration. The vast majority of feminists want to change the world to live in peace and move on.
Then, it can happen to hear bitter remarks, because some feminists have experienced bitter things, of which our generation has not kept the memory.
My mother had to take sewing lessons at school while the boys were playing football, she had to clean up while her little brother watched her do it: the wounds did not heal in five minutes.
When a feminist says something that sounds excessive, before yelling “FXXX I HAD TOLD YOU ALL HARPIES,” you should ask yourself what she’s been through. I disagree with some feminists who want to free themselves from sex. But I understand that having had a sex life of zero at a time when female orgasm was about everyone’s last concern, you come up with a busy past.
The best thing is to ask the question. And to give your opinion when you disagree.
“Feminists have a problem with men.”
Little scoop: feminists don’t spend their time talking bad about men. Their problem is patriarchy, the system that says a man is worth more than a woman. But if anyone hears of feminists committing sexist crimes against men, rape, beatings, systematic denigration, let me know.
Feminism never killed anyone. Unlike sexism.
“Feminists are bad fucxxxs.”
Invalid argument since always (and even if we were badly fucked, we would have to shut our mouths on all political subjects?), but even more so since third wave feminism has been squatted by pro-sex feminists. Sex-positive activists are (also) harnesses, sexologists, prostitutes, performers, suicide girls, porn directors, sex toy creators…
“I prefer the word antisexist.”
Antisexism and feminism are the same. But feminism is a nice word with a nice story. Anyway, you do what you want. It’s just a shame not to pay tribute to the generations of women who have obtained all our rights by putting themselves under this banner, especially since, without wanting to repeat myself, in feminism, there are all currents.
“I can’t take it.”
Ha, people certainly react when you say you’re a feminist. But those who want to make you feel guilty with that, they will also make fun of your clothes, your nose, your cellulite, your character or your cat. There’s no escaping mockery. Feminist, is that hilarious?
If all the girls showed up tomorrow as feminists, it would seriously calm things down. And then you can be a feminist and make fun of yourself; it’s not incompatible.
“I don’t want to get in my head.”
We’re not all activists at heart. Sometimes people want to quote Diam’s and sing, “I don’t have time to waste on headache, why are you watching me, why are you looking at me? .
But I think we can be feminist in a really simple way: already, by saying that we are feminist, that is, by accepting to be one of the faces of this struggle (if you don’t want to discuss because you think your convictions are too fragile, say “I don’t want to get into a debate that will last four hours, I am feminist, and that’s all”). You don’t have to justify yourself.
In your everyday life, you can try to be a little supportive of other women, share tasks with your boyfriend, or raise your children away from gender norms. They’re little things that don’t bother you.
Ultimately, what matters is occupying the land. To be a feminist is to say, “I’m here.
“Frankly, I am against the rights of women, who are inferior beings.”
All right, all right. Now you can’t be a feminist!